Bailing Out Before Depression

I got into a big fight with my family before moving out to Los Angeles. They wanted me to be near them forever. They wanted me to be a homebody.

But that was all about making them happy while it was killing me, somewhat literally.

This past year has been difficult for me because, quite frankly, it sucked shit. It fucking sucked so bad and I was ripping my eyes out wanting to be around art, go to outside music concerts, collaborate with people I loved, and just be a geek.

I was so depressed over the past year that I literally didn’t have the motivation to write music at times. I didn’t put the lights on. I didn’t smile much. I didn’t date. I didn’t do much of anything. But who cares - as long as I was nearby then everyone else was happy.

To further complicate it, my friends were changing. They’re married now, and have to be home by 9pm for their kids. I get it, but that’s not where I am in my life. After a long day of writing music for 10 hours I wanted to go hiking, make hilarious videos and art, or just take a simple walk outside at some unexplored park. They wanted to go to the same smokey bar.

Now, I love my friends, in fact a few weeks ago they had a pool party that was bananas and tons of fun. They’re fun people. But everything was hitting me at every angle and I had to get out before I was going to fall further into depression and urning for adventure. I didn’t want to be 50 years old going to another smokey bar or being unhappy.

Fast forward to my first 3 days here in Los Angeles and it’s been some of the funnest in my life. I went to Venice Beach, I shot videos, I went to Guardians of the Galaxy with a core group of awesome people, Hoookah’d until 4am to share laughs with new adventures, jumped out of bed actually motivated to finish 2 new songs, and even went to Youtube Space to hang.

I’m getting sunlight, I’m playing basketball again, I’m practicing piano 3 hours a day, and for once I’m doing things for me. Maybe Los Angles isn’t where I’m supposed to be, maybe I’m supposed to be in Incheon South Korea or some townhouse in the backstreets of London England.

When you’re not happy then you have to get out before it sets in further. I’ll certainly return home at some point because I’ll miss seeing the friends and family whom I love. But right now, in this very moment - change wasn’t only good, it was the answer.

Have you lived on the edge today? I have.

Have you lived on the edge today? I have.

prokopetz:

Music Fact: Classical musicians are 50% more likely to suffer permanent hearing loss than rock musicians. This is almost entirely due to exposure to bass drums; a single orchestral bass drum is louder than an electric guitar at maximum amplification, and provides one-third of the audible power of a standard 75-piece symphony orchestra.

Also rock musicians usually stand behind their amps and reference monitors or ear plugs.

Ever heard a trumpet play “forte”? Now imagine sitting alongside that for a 3 hour gig.

I made my sheet music old with an app today

I made my sheet music old with an app today

asker

Anonymous asked: You're really cute. You should go shirtless more often. But show us more than your shoulders, you tease :-)

image

Haha umm thanks?! Well, this is me when I was in great shape last year. Starting it back up today so I feel better, sleep better, and play music better. It’s all connected.

Note: and look and that ForOrchestra iPhone case!

Haven’t posted a video blog in months. Just woke up after the most powerful dream of my life, conveniently the very first day in Los Angeles. In the dream I was crying, looking around, wondering what’s happening and why are things different now?

But I’m scared, anxious, excited, and determined. Good morning!

The Next Thing

annieisms:

chrismohney:

In honor of our great nation’s birthday, my last day at Maker Studios will be this Friday, July the Fourth. I’m looking forward to a summer of conversations over summery beverages about starting the next thing. What is the next thing? I like editorial, I like writing, I like video, I like running teams, I like technology, I like doing fun stuff with smart people who move quickly. If you’re interested in a chat, by all means drop me a line at chrismohney dot gmail dot com. Enjoy perusing my widely praised Linkedin profile if you need context, background, business intelligence, and/or bullet points. And if you need me tonight, I’ll be at the bar.

Note for Chris: I read “I like running teams” in the athletic sense and was about to email you demanding why you never asked me to join your elitist running team… then I checked myself before I wrecked myself.

Note for everyone else: I had the privilege of working with Chris at Blip and Maker Studios and you should talk to him about running editorial at your company.

Chris is the best - you should all know this! (Annie is awesome too!)

asker

iarekylew00t asked: Walt will you date me so i can learn the piano

yes. i want to date everyone so that everyone can learn piano.

asker

iarekylew00t asked: Can you give any tips to someone who wants to learn to play the piano?

You can have every book and private lesson at your disposal but it’s actually all about motivation.

So the obvious tip is to date someone who plays piano. But if that’s not an option, then date someone who likes piano players (even if you’re just starting out).

The motivation to master the instrument will surely kick in :P

did-you-kno:

Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head.
Source

Maybe I’ve just been doing it wrong all this time?

did-you-kno:

Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head.

Source

Maybe I’ve just been doing it wrong all this time?